Pai's Gone Insane!
by kisshuismylife
Summary: Pai attacks Kisshu, and Taruto gets him out of there before he gets killed, but accidentally teleports to Ichigo's house. What's going to happen now? Mainly KxI, and it's very funny, so please R&R!


**Pai's Gone Insane!**

"Pai, stop!" Kisshu shouted. "What's with you?"

Kisshu and Pai were in the training room, having a practice match, but Pai had suddenly started fighting harder. He also had his fans out, which was against the rules of the match. And he wasn't listening to a word Kisshu said. He was completely silent as he shot another bolt of lightning at Kisshu. Kisshu dodged, feeling the heat go past his arm. _What happened? _he wondered. _Pai doesn't normally act like this…._

He didn't have time to think about it; Pai aimed another bolt of lightning at him, and this one scorched Kisshu's leg.

Suddenly the door to the training room opened, and Taruto came in, then stopped dead. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Get out of here, Pai's gone insane or something!" Kisshu said through gritted teeth.

Pai had turned to face the door, and he shot a bolt of lightning at Taruto, too. Kisshu didn't think; he teleported in front of Taruto before the bolt hit, and the bolt scorched him instead, ripping his shirt in half and leaving a large burned gash across Kisshu's chest. Kisshu started to get unsteady as Taruto ran around him. Taruto took out his click-clack weapon, and threw it, tying Pai up. Then he ran back to Kisshu, just in time to catch him as he blacked out. Noticing Pai was struggling to get out of the binding, Taruto grabbed Kisshu's shoulder and teleported to the one place he knew would be safe- Pudding's house.

Or at least, he thought he was teleporting to Pudding's house, but for some reason he ended up in an extremely pink room, and groaned as he heard running footsteps. Sure enough, Ichigo came running in, and stopped dead. "What HAPPENED!?" she asked.

"Pai's gone insane or something, and Kisshu got pretty badly injured trying to protect me," Taruto said. "I was trying to teleport to Pudding's; I don't know why I ended up here."

"You can both stay," Ichigo said. "And we need to care for Kisshu's injuries, so ask me questions later, got it?"

"Got it," Taruto said. Ichigo picked up Kisshu gently and put him on her bed, then said, "Get his shirt off, I'll go get alcohol and bandages."

Taruto went over and carefully got the remainders of Kisshu's shirt off as Ichigo ran out. She returned minutes later with a bottle of alcohol, a washcloth, and bandages. Taruto backed up as she started cleaning out the injury on Kisshu's chest.

Almost as soon as she started, Kisshu's eyes snapped open at the painful touch, and he tried to jerk away, crying out. "Kish, try to stay still," Ichigo said softly. "I need to clean this injury out; I don't want it to get infected."

"Koneko-chan?" Kisshu asked weakly.

"I'm here," Ichigo said. "Can you lie still?"

Kisshu sighed and did as she asked, wincing as she cleaned out the injury. When she was done, she cleaned out the scorch mark on Kisshu's leg, then picked up the bandages. She bandaged Kisshu's chest injury first, and then the injury on his leg.

Finished, she looked at Kisshu, and saw that he was still awake. "Kish, you shouldn't move around too much, okay?" she said.

Kisshu groaned. "I hate lying in bed all day…." he said gloomily.

"I know, but your injuries won't heal if you reopen them," Ichigo said. "Besides the injuries, how are you feeling?"

"I think I'm fine," Kisshu said.

Ichigo put a hand on his forehead, and said, "Well, at least you don't have a fever. Still, just take it easy for a while."

Kisshu sighed, then looked worried. "Where's Taruto?" he asked.

"I'm here," Taruto said, coming over. "I tied Pai up with my weapon and teleported you here. But I thought Ichigo hated you…."

"We've been dating for a while, but we had to keep it a secret, so I had to act the way I did before we started dating," Ichigo explained.

"How come you had to hide it?" Taruto asked.

"Blondie," Kisshu said. "We knew if he found out, he'd try to brainwash Ichigo, so we didn't tell anyone. And the reason I didn't tell you was because if you had told Pudding, she might have let it slip, and then we'd all be screwed. So you can't tell Pudding, got it?"

"I won't," Taruto said. "But what's up with Blondie brainwashing Ichigo?"

"He thinks since I work for him, I should obey his every order, and also be in love with him," Ichigo said. "I don't understand how he thinks I could ever love him; he's put me through more pain and trouble than anyone should have to go through, and he's been nothing but nasty since the day I met him. He's just a racist, evil jerk, and I could never have feelings for someone who is that evil. Deep Blue can't even dream about being as evil as Ryou. On top of that, Ryou's a pervert, and he's worse than Kisshu. I know better than to show any emotion besides anger around him, because he'll most likely take it as a chance to rape me or something. I'll never feel anything for him besides hatred. It's too bad I can't tell him how much I hate him without him brainwashing me."

"That sounds tough," Taruto said.

"It's not easy," Ichigo sighed. Suddenly they heard tapping on the window, and Ichigo spun, seeing Ryou looking in. She stormed over, slammed the window open, and dragged her claws across Ryou's face. "Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. My. Life!" she screamed. "I hate you more than anything else in the entire world, and I will never love you, no matter what you do! If you don't scram, I'm going to kill you, got it? I've had it, Ryou!"

"I just came to see why the aliens were here…" Ryou said.

"Pai apparently went insane and it's not safe on the ship," Ichigo said shortly. "I'm NEVER coming back to the Café, so you can go find someone else. If you come here one more time, I will make your death so painful you'll wish you had never met me, much less made me a Mew Mew."

Before Ryou could say anything, Taruto asked, "Ichigo, is he worse than spinach?"

"FAR worse than spinach, or any other salad-related thing," Ichigo said. "Why?"

"Taruto asks that about people a lot," Kisshu said. "When he was about four, he bit Pai, and then asked why Pai tasted like spinach. I told him it's because Pai is an evil genius, and evil geniuses taste like spinach."

Ichigo burst out laughing. "I wonder what Ryou would taste like; he's the Devil reincarnated, so he must taste worse than spinach," she giggled.

"He's probably poisonous," Kisshu said.

"Are you aliens or vampires?" Ryou asked.

"We're Cyniclons," Kisshu said. "Just because Taruto has a thing for biting people does not make him a vampire. You don't see me and Pai biting people, do you? And sunlight doesn't kill us."

"Mmph," Ryou said. "I think I'll leave before you drink my blood."

"You do that," Ichigo said. She smiled evilly, showing off cat fangs. "YAAAH! YOU'RE A VAMPIRE NOW TOO!?" Ryou screamed. He quickly climbed down the tree and ran off screaming as Ichigo and Taruto fell over laughing.

"Nice one, Koneko-chan," Kisshu commented as they all started to calm down. "Hey, do you have his cell phone number?"

"Yeah, he gave it to all of us," Ichigo asked. "Thinking of prank-calling him?"

"Yup," Kisshu said. "Taruto does the best Dracula imitation ever; call Blondie and give him your cell phone."

Ichigo snickered and grabbed her cell phone, then found Ryou's number and hit Send before handing the phone to Taruto. Then she and Kisshu watched as Taruto waited a minute, then said in a perfect imitation of Dracula, "I vant to suck your blood!" They heard a girly scream, and Taruto hung up, then fell over laughing. Ichigo and Kisshu were laughing themselves into hysterics.

Kisshu was the first to stop, gasping for air. "That hurt…." he said.

Ichigo came over, trying to calm down, but before she could do anything, her cell phone rang. Taking a deep breath, she looked at the caller ID, and sighed, then picked up and said, "Hi Keiichiro, what's up?"

"_Ryou's having an insane freak-out about vampires; did you do something to him?" _Keiichiro asked.

"Besides clawing his face up, I didn't do anything," Ichigo said. "He's convinced Taruto is a vampire because Kisshu said he has a habit of biting people. So I smiled at him and showed him my cat fangs, and he ran off screaming about vampires. Why do you ask?"

"_He says Dracula has your cell phone," _Keiichiro said dryly.

"Well, he's wrong," Ichigo said. "Besides, isn't Dracula a fictional vampire?"

"_Seriously, Ichigo, which one of you called him?" _Keiichiro asked wearily. _"I know you have Kisshu and Taruto there."_

"Taruto does a perfect Dracula imitation, so I gave him my cell phone so he could prank-call Ryou," Ichigo said. "It was hilarious!"

Keiichiro sighed. _"Did you have to?" _he asked wearily.

"Yes, because he's an evil racist slave driver," Ichigo said bluntly. "I'm hoping the vampire thing will get him out of my hair."

"_Fine… if he keeps bugging you, tell me," _Keiichiro said. _"I don't really need more insane freak-outs."_

"Oh, fine," Ichigo said sulkily. "I LIKE scaring him out of his wits."

"_I'm aware of that," _Keiichiro said dryly. _"Bye."_

"Bye," Ichigo said, and hung up. Then she turned back to Kisshu and Taruto. Kisshu was looking sleepy, and Ichigo realized it was pretty late. "Kisshu, you should get some rest," she said.

"Can you sleep with me?" Kisshu asked hopefully.

"I don't want to reopen your injury," Ichigo said. Kisshu just gave her puppy dog eyes, and she sighed. "Fine, but I have to get Taruto set up first," she said. Looking at Taruto, she said, "You get the guest room."

"Which one is it?" Taruto asked. "I don't mind going by myself."

"It's diagonal from this room, and it's green," Ichigo said.

"'Kay, night," Taruto said, and left. Ichigo sighed and started digging in her dresser. She produced a black shirt, and said, "Kisshu, you should put this on. Do you need help?"

"I don't think so," Kisshu said. He took the shirt and put it on, then laid back. Ichigo climbed in next to him, and pulled the blankets over both of them. Kisshu was already sleeping as Ichigo carefully settled back and fell asleep.

_**The next morning: **_Ichigo woke up to someone tapping her forehead, and slowly opened her eyes. Taruto was standing there, and he said, "I think Pai's going to be here soon, and Kisshu has a fever. We'd better get ready to fight."

Ichigo sighed and got out of bed, pulling the blankets back over Kisshu before transforming. Just in time, too, as they heard teleportation, and Pai appeared. Ichigo noticed his eyes were completely blank, and said, "Taruto, someone brainwashed him."

"Great…. Pai is the only one with the ability to reverse that," Taruto said gloomily.

"I'm still here," Pai said.

"That's nice," Ichigo said. "How do we reverse the brainwash on you?"

Pai looked momentarily puzzled, and said, "I wasn't brainwashed…"

"Then why do your eyes look blank, and why did you attack Kisshu?" Ichigo asked. She noticed Taruto was edging away, trying to get behind Pai, and decided to be the distraction.

Pai was looking more and more puzzled, and therefore didn't notice when Taruto came up behind him, and hit him over the head, knocking him out. Taruto caught Pai, and set him down, then put a hand on his forehead. "I think that hitting him that hard snapped the brainwash," he said. "He's going to have a huge headache, though."

"Oh well," Ichigo said. Suddenly she heard a soft groan from the bed, and went over. Kisshu opened his eyes as she came over, and said weakly, "I don't feel good…."

Ichigo put a hand on his forehead, then said, "You're burning up. I'll go get a cool cloth, okay?"

"Okay…." Kisshu said. He watched Ichigo leave, and a few minutes later, she was back with a cool cloth. She gently put it over his forehead, and pulled the blankets up. "Try to get some more rest," she said gently. She climbed onto the bed and started gently stroking Kisshu's hair, which put him to sleep pretty quickly.

A few minutes after Kisshu fell asleep, Taruto came over and said softly, "I'm going to wake Pai up."

"'Kay," Ichigo said. She watched as Taruto tapped Pai's forehead.

Pai slowly opened his eyes a minute later, and looked confused. "What am I doing here?" he asked, sitting up. "And why do I have a headache?"

"You got brainwashed, and nearly killed Kisshu," Taruto said. "I accidentally teleported here instead of Pudding's, and Ichigo let us stay. And today you came here, and Ichigo distracted you while I knocked you out."

Pai looked worried. "How is Kisshu?" he asked.

"He's got a pretty bad fever," Ichigo said. "He's also got a burn on his leg and a pretty bad gash in his chest. I cleaned and bandaged the injuries, but you should at least heal the fever."

Pai got up and came over, then gently unwrapped the bandages on Kisshu's chest. Then he put a hand over the injury, and started healing it. Soon it was gone, and Pai healed the fever too. Then he took the bandages off Kisshu's leg, and healed the burn as well.

"He needs to sleep off the healing," Pai said softly when he was done. "Can I stay?"

"Sure," Ichigo said. She gently smoothed Kisshu's hair back and started stroking it again as Pai settled down in her desk chair and Taruto sat on the floor.

Kisshu woke up about three hours later, and looked up at Ichigo. "I'm feeling better," he said.

"Good," Ichigo said. "Taruto hit Pai over the head hard enough to snap the brainwash, and he healed you."

Kisshu sat up, and looked at Pai. "I'm really sorry, Kisshu," he said.

Kisshu sighed. "Why did you let yourself get brainwashed?" he asked.

"I DIDN'T, Deep Blue did it while I was fighting you," Pai said. "It's kind of hard to concentrate on not getting brainwashed and fighting you at the same time."

"So why haven't you let me kill his human host yet?" Kisshu asked.

"Fine… go ahead…" Pai said. "But tomorrow, because you should take it easy today."

"Oh, fine," Kisshu said.

"So has Blondie been by yet?" Pai asked.

"Yes, and he's convinced you three are vampires," Ichigo sighed. "I wouldn't put it past him to come back with a bunch of garlic."

Kisshu and Taruto burst out laughing, just as the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Ichigo sighed, and got up. She went to the front door, and opened it to find Zakuro. "Hi Zakuro, what's up?" Ichigo asked.

"Ryou told me to bring you this box, and watch you and the aliens open it," Zakuro said. "I don't know what it is, but I don't think it's a time bomb or anything breakable."

"Alright, come in," Ichigo said. She took the box upstairs, followed by Zakuro. The Cyniclons looked up as they came in, and Kisshu asked, "What's in the box?"

"Something from Ryou," Ichigo said. "He wanted Zakuro to watch us open it, so I don't think it's dangerous."

"Uh… okay," Kisshu said.

Ichigo sighed and opened the box- then started laughing hysterically. She handed the box to Zakuro, who asked, "Why did Ryou give you garlic?"

Kisshu and Taruto fell over laughing, and Ichigo fell over soon after. Pai sighed and said, "Apparently he thinks the three of us are vampires. Why, I don't know."

"I think I'll go have a word with him," Zakuro said, and left as Kisshu, Ichigo, and Taruto attempted to calm down.

After about another fifteen minutes, they finally managed to calm down, and Ichigo sighed. "I haven't laughed like that in ages," she said.

"Me neither," Kisshu said. "Pai's never laughed like that in his entire life."

"Hey, wanna see my new impersonation?" Taruto asked suddenly.

"Sure!" Ichigo and Kisshu said as Pai groaned.

Taruto got up, stretched his arms out in front of him, and started wandering around the room. Then he moaned, "I'm Paaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiii! I will eat your braaaaiiiinsss!"

Ichigo and Kisshu burst out laughing again as Taruto stopped and said, "That's what happens when Pai doesn't get enough sleep."

"Taruto," Pai started.

"Uh… yeah?" Taruto asked.

Before Pai could respond, Kisshu said, "NO, you can't doom him. Go talk to your Lettuce Wall instead. Or better yet, go ask the real thing out!"

Pai snarled and teleported out. "Well, that went well," Kisshu said. "Hey Taruto, go ask your girlfriend out!"

Taruto looked nervous, and Kisshu sighed. "You STILL haven't confessed?" he asked wearily. "You'd think with the amount of time you spend over there, you'd have said something by now. Go confess."

"Oh, fine," Taruto said, and teleported out.

Kisshu smirked and said, "Now that they're gone, let's kiss!"

Ichigo giggled and kissed him passionately.

**Another one… PLEASE review, and I hope you like this. :D **


End file.
